Slowly, I'm learning to give God control of this struggle. He has been so patient with me. Infertility has brought out some ugly sides of myself that I never knew existed. I've struggled with jealousy and can be so selfish when I am wrapped up in my own pain. But I know that He is working on making me more like Him.
This suffering is producing perseverance...and this perseverance: character. In the end, I'm clinging to the hope that He WILL make all things new!
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
Despite the heartache, the beauty of Cape Town was healing in a way. Ruco still traveled for his job, but not as much as he usually must. It was the perfect place for us to be together to grieve...but also to trust, learn and grow. However painful it has been, I am thankful for the way He is changing us. He is doing a new thing in and through us!!