A little emotional breakdown never hurt anyone...

Isnt it strange how a feeling or an emotion will just hit you? Its like you have just been struck by a train, and all of a sudden all these feelings you never knew you had or ever existed inside of you, are all of a sudden streaming down your face? That happened to me today. It was such an odd occurence. I ran into a stranger and when I apologized, something in his voice made me remember someone in my life. It made me miss that person unbearably, someone whom I rarely miss or think of at all. I sat in my own daydream for a minute and then it hit me...I do miss this person, and I dont want to continue harboring this emotion I am usually subsiding. Although, I never knew I was harboring any emotion at all. I never knew it was even there.
Its so weird, but that is how my relationship with God is sometimes too. I can easily just go on like I dont need him, like I can handle things on my own. Then I fall flat on my face, just like I did today. It all comes at me at once, and I realize I CANT do this on my own. Its a welling up of emotion and heartache that comes from ignoring a relationship that should have always been there. I should have never let my heart get so hardened to Gods voice. But then when I hear it again, its such an emotional thing. I can remember so vividly everything about Him and everything about our relationship, and wonder how Ive gone this long without talking to him. How did I go this long trying to handle everything on my own?
Also, I realize that not only did I MISS hearing Gods voice, but he's missed mine. He has missed talking to me everyday, and has wanted so badly for me just to let him take all my hurt. He has wanted me to just stop the act that everything is ok.
I am always drawn to people who are transparent; people who will show me all of their hearts. My mom says this is why she is drawn so much to Rucos mom. Ruco's mom is very transparent, and she says that she believes that God wants us to be like this. He wants us to share with other Christians our struggles and pain so that these things may be brought to light. Basically God wants us to share these things and have relationship so we do not harbor the hurt, pain and guilt we are feeling. He doesnt want us to put up a show that everything is OK all the time!!
Im so thankful that God was teaching me today. He was showing me that he misses me with the same intense pain that I was missing my earthly father today. He was also showing me that "No, it wasnt ok the way things have happened, and its ok to ACKNOWLEDGE that and give me all the pain you have been keeping to yourself." He was showing me that its ok that everything has not always been perfect, but he takes whats left of me and will make me into the person he created me to be.