Antidote for Fear=Faith!

I have been doing OK lately....not so stressed in my job anymore, and loving having my husband back from the Congo! Actually last night, we made some coffee and snuggled up to watch another episode of our favorite show, Top Chef. As we were enjoying our night, I said to Ruco, "I haven't been stressed about work/life in Moroto for a while!!" Even despite some really sad things happening in our area in February, I'm content. I'm so much more at peace.

In our devotions at work, we have been reading through the book of Mark. In the last couple of stories we have read, one common theme stood out to me: conquering fear/anxiety with faith.We read in Mark 4.35-41 about Jesus calming the storm. The disciples were terrified as the waves were breaking into the boat, and the winds were raging. And Jesus was asleep on the stern of the boat. So, the disciples woke him up and said, "Jesus, don't you care that we are perishing?" So Jesus first calms the storm, then he deals with the disciples lack of faith. He says, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" Even though the disciples walked with Jesus everyday, they still lacked faith in His power! Because of their lack of faith, the storm was terrifying to them, even though they were in the very presence of Jesus!

Today, we read again the story of Jairus and his daughter in Mark 5.21-43. Jairus had great faith and humility that Jesus could heal his daughter who was on the brink of death. He actually fell at the feet of Jesus and begged Jesus to come and lay His hands on his daughter so that she might be made well. After making it back, before entering the house, the ruler of the synagogue approached them and said: "Your daughter is already dead. Why trouble the teacher any further?" And Jesus said to the ruler, "Do not fear, only believe." Jesus goes on to heal Jairus' daughter because of the great faith that Jairus demonstrated. But those words really stood out to me this morning. "Do not fear, only believe." The opposite of experiencing fear, is experiencing a real faith in Him.

I am so much like those disciples in the boat! I really get myself all anxious and stressed in the midst of certain situations! Even though I have walked with Him for many years, I seriously lack faith that He is in control, that He has power over all things! The outward expression of my lack of faith is fear. I have SO much to learn!

This is all relevant to us now, because Ruco and I are in the midst of making big choices. Ruco applied to 9 grad schools! Crazy boy! So far, we have heard from 5 of those schools, and he has been accepted to those 5. Like I said in the beginning of this post, I am JUST now getting to a place of peace, a place of feeling content, and a place where I am trusting Him. Yet, here we are, deciding whether or not to pack up and start all over. This could scare me for numerous reasons. I have become comfortable in Uganda, with my job, and with our situation. I KNOW we are where God wants us...in the center of His will. So making a decision to leave, at this stage, is a bit scary. Financial worries among others come creeping in. We haven't lived in the US since all of this economy stuff, and we have heard HORROR stories about how bad it is, and how long it takes to find a job. In fact, by the time we get back, we won't have lived in the States for 3 years...

It would be so easy for me to fall back into my old pattern of stress. anxiety. fear. But instead, I am choosing to have FAITH! I am choosing to have faith that God is in control, and He will make our paths straight.

I will leave you with some photos of baby Ruco. One of my women from last year delivered a precious baby boy! She was the one who told me that she was CERTAIN she was having a girl because of the way she was carrying. :) His name is Ruco. He is the third Ruco (fourth if you count my original) in Moroto! It's just so funny to me because before now, I had never met another Ruco!

Me with baby Ruco (we are in my office)

The Rucos! CUTE!