I have had a wonderful 3 weeks in the US visiting with family and friends. It was such a sweet time. I was able to celebrate my 27th bday in America with family and friends, and I was also able to meet my brother's new baby, Noah. I fell in love. There were also sweet times to catch up with family and friends and share what is on my heart, and hear what is on their hearts. Well, to tell the truth, there are many times when I haven't been able to adequately share my heart. :/ I feel a mixture of emotions when I come and also when I go...and a lot of times, I don't know how to express those emotions, so I don't.
Yesterday, I was able to have a wonderful chat with my friend Audrey who lived in Japan for 2 years, and she really helped ME to understand my experience. She told me about something she had heard at an IMB mission conference. OK, bear with me, hopefully I get this right...
She said that as an American, I grew up in a yellow country. I was yellow, and thought like a yellow person. Then, I went overseas. Uganda was a blue country. The people were blue and thought like blue people. To fit in, I had to blend, but I could not get rid of my yellow tendencies. They are there, so I became green instead. I take some things from my native yellow culture, and then adapt to certain ideas and thoughts associated with the blue culture. But now I am GREEN! And I don't feel like I can wholly be yellow again, but I also don't feel wholly blue when I am overseas-in Uganda, and now in Haiti. I am just green!!
*sorry about all the highlighting, I just have a lot of time on my hands! haha!
I'm not sure if that made any sense?!?? But, it made sense when Audrey shared it with me. :) And it comforted me that she also felt the same when coming back to America. I guess no matter what color I am, I can rest solely in the knowledge that my citizenship is in heaven...! Ruco texted this verse to me this morning: "Our citizenship is in heaven, and we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Christ Jesus." Phil 3:20. It was comforting to me. And as I was flying high in the clouds this morning on my way to Miami, I looked out the window and said to Him, "Lord, I am so glad that my citizenship is actually in heaven, and when I am there with you someday, I won't have to worry one bit about this culture shock business or what "color" I am, or have blended to become!!!!! Because this Earth will never feel like my home!!"
Anyway, I enjoyed my time with family and friends so much, and will be back soon for Audrey's wedding in August. For now, I am looking forward to being in Haiti...to experiencing a new place, and a new people! I am also SO excited to be with my husband again (for he is green like me!!!!) :)
Now for some photos!
4 comments:
it was SO great having you here, even if it was just for a short time. I love that you were able to talk with Audrey and have someone to identify with. Im sure its so hard to figure out how to be when you are here when you've been there (Uganda, Haiti) and explain it all and really lay out whats on your heart, but God is constantly transforming you and growing you into an even more incredible person to use for HIS glory! I love you so much and am always praying for you and Ruco, no matter what "color" you are, where you are, what you are doing or how you change and grow. Continue to be obedient and know you are being a faithful servant and bringing Him glory by showing how he loves and provides...
my sweet girl, i believe like you that your citizenship is not of this world,but as long as our Father in heaven sees fit to leave you here you will struggle with where your piece of the puzzle fits. i your grandmother, who loves you so very much believes that you leave a piece of your heart every where you go and then when you arrive at another place, be it home or another country a piece of you is always left behind. that is why you have so much of Jesus in your heart, He fills those places we leave behind.my prayer for you and ruco is that God will use you both in His work there in haiti..keep showing His love......
I am so thankful to have a "green" friend like you. Miss you, Kristi! Can't wait to read all your blogs from Haiti.
Kristi, I read this post a few weeks ago and have been meaning to stop back by to tell you how much it meant to me. I totally get it. Totally. Not in the sense of living in another country (although I sometimes think northern AL should be its own country :), but in the sense that when I go home to Pensacola I feel like such an outcast. I feel like some people don't even know how to interact with me anymore...and I don't know how to fit in anymore. It is so hard to explain...but once the Lord opened my eyes to where He wanted us, the past seemed so foreign. And for that, I am so grateful!
Anyway, thank you for sharing this. It meant a lot to me to have someone articulate what I have been feeling too. I pray for you guys often!
:)'s, Leanne
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